Moving to Chicago and my exploration of my new home

Lets start at the very beginning.

My mother and I drove FROM NEW JERSEY to Chicago JUST THE TWO OF US in a SMALL CAR for FOURTEEN hours. And we made it - without killing each other and actually having a really great time overall.

The drive was tough - its long and we only did it in two days - mostly with myself at the wheel. But our first night along our journey we stayed in Cleveland - had a wonderful dinner together and went to bed early. Once we finally arrived in Chicago we had dinner and again went to bed early.

But the next day we spent exploring and laughing and taking pictures and overall having a lovely time. We went to Michigan avenue and walked along the lake. We lazily walked along Navy pear, saw Millennial park and had an awesome boat tour of the architecture in the city. That night we tried Chicago style deep dish pizza and giggled through a bottle of wine. The next morning my mother caught an early flight back to New Jersey and a few hours later I moved in.

I was so nervous - I was nervous about driving there - bringing my stuff in - meeting people and setting up my room.

My first week in the house was really stressful. My roommate (who is probably now my closest friend in the house and in Chicago) got really sick and it was hard navigating my needs and hers that first week. I felt constantly under-slept and a bit sick myself - but she had the flu and then pneumonia and I felt selfish worrying about my needs - but did feel they were being overlooked. I was also missing everyone at home and just not feeling comfortable yet. We were doing really intense sharing and deep thinking with brand new people and I was not ready to share my deepest emotions with strangers, but also felt pressure to be insightful and thoughtful. Avodah does this intentionally but it was hard and exhausting - both physically and emotionally and I was struggling...

And then shabbat came... and it was like a switch went off - it was this really beautiful 25 hours and such a warm environment. We did everything in the house - Kabbalat Shabbat - dinner - lunch - meeting alums - it was all lovely.

Then Monday was a much needed free day and I went swimming with a friend - went out with my roommate for the first time - to target and began to fill settled.

A time I went out with my roommate and her friend (roommate - The lovely Julie Ann
is the one in the center). 

The next day I began work ----
a little about work:

The first week was training - the second week was shadowing - and then by the third week I began seeing clients ON MY OWN!

At this point I have 13 clients - who I have to schedule appointments with - to discuss treatment plans - medication monitoring - discharge from hospitals (in the case of one client) and drive to appointments. It is an exhausting job and I feel somewhat out of my depth but I am learning so so much and I am really enjoying it - overall.

Because of confidentiality I cannot share stories of my experience on the job - but its an intense job and I know already will be one of the hardest things I will ever do.

What else have I been doing?

Most nights someone cooks dinner and we all eat together - its awesome! The food is great and its so nice to be able to talk and detox at the end of every day.

Some of my housemates - out on the town! 

On the weekends we go grocery shopping and I have been trying to do something nice and fun.

I saw avenue Q - which was awesome! I saw my cousins - who I haven't seen in forever, got dinner with fulbright friends, etc. and then Rosh Hashanah!

Rosh Hashanah was weird and different than I am accustomed to - but it was great!

I went to Mishkan - this very alternative synagogue with some people in my house - which was super cool. I went with my roommate to her family friends - they were lovely and incredibly warm and had a meal with many of housemates. Overall it was great even if different.

So much more to say - but as it turns out - all these risks and leaps of faith I have been making are working out and I am so grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow.

911 2014

I have been meaning to post something since I arriving in Chicago about what my adjustment has been like and how amazing the city is.

This week was my second week at work and my third in Chicago. I have had highs and lows since my arrival. It has been really stressful moving in, meeting new people and adjusting to a new job.

I will definitely write again about the amazing highs I have had since arriving but right now I want to pay tribute to the day and to my cousin Mark.

Today has been really hard and has definitely felt in many ways like a low. But I still went to work, I still laughed with my new co-workers, got ready in the morning with my awesome new roommate and had a productive day.

I was poignantly aware of the date all day today but my focus had to be on my new job and my new clients.

However, the minute I walked in the door at the end of the day today, a big weight fell on my chest and the full emotional strain of the date settled in.

I never know how to feel on 911 or how I will feel. But this year has been particularly emotional. I think its all the changes and new starts but I miss Mark today more than I have in years past.

As I drove to work I passed signs commemorating 911 and news on the radio about the day. I feel appreciative to be back in America where I can feel a collective mourning and recognition of what today means.

I know that for me 911 is different than for my co-workers or for the people that I live with, but I appreciate the collective understanding of what today means and that at least the day does not get ignored.

With my housemates we will eat dinner and write memories of where we were on 911 and how we felt. One girl suggested we light candles in honor of the many murdered today. I just feel this outpouring of love and understanding from the people I live with and just met and I am really touched to be part of such a special community.

Our 911 tribute 

I thought at the end of this post I would share what I remember from 911, 2001...

My 6th grade hebrew teacher walked into the classroom in tears. Only days before she told us one of her close friends was ill and I remember thinking "oh my god her friend must have died" However, she was crying over the many lives lost in the world trade center on the planes that crashed. She invited us all to go to the auditorium at school to pray. I remember feeling sad but in that impersonal "thank god its not me" kind of way. I remember some classmates crying and worrying about their parents working in NY. My parents worked in NJ. I was unconcerned. At 2PM my other teacher turned on the radio for us to listen to the news. All of a sudden I remembered Mark, at our labor day barbecue, telling my Dad all about his new job which would be starting in the world trade center. I broke. I could not stop crying. My teacher turned off the news and allowed me to cry (and snot) all over her. Later when I got off the bus my mother was waiting for me and took me home. It was like a train station in my house. Neighbors in and out - everyone on the phone. My mom left immediately after dropping me off at home to be with my aunt. My uncle was stuck in the city - looking at the towers - knowing that was where his son may have just been killed. My mother spent the night with my aunt.

The next day we all stayed home from school. Some time in the evening my brother came home from college. I remember how scared I felt when I saw him. Because Mark had felt like such a brother to me - seeing my brother home and safe made me feel so scared and relieved.

We still did not know if Mark was alive or dead. But we knew that if he could call or reach us he would and as the days passed we lost hope...

As I get closer to the age Mark was when he died I feel this very odd emotion. I always think of Mark as this great big cousin who taught me so much and I fear surpassing him. But he was such a thoughtful and amazing man that as I get older I still search to impress him and make him proud. I really hope he is proud of what I am doing this year and that he thinks the choices I have made and I am making are the right ones.

I love you Mark! Take care of Grandma.

What's next for me?!?

This past year living abroad in Easten Europe was the best and most challenging year of life. I learned a lot about myself and about a new and very different culture. As my year began winding down I started  thinking of what to do next. I have always wanted to be a therapist and although I have loved teaching this past year it has convinced me even more about my desire to work with people in a therapeutic setting. My favorite part of teaching has been connecting with students one on one and listening to the issues that arise with adolescence. 

After reflection I decided the next step for my growth was AVODAH, the Jewish americorps. AVODAH is broken down into two parts. One is communal living and education about social justice through a jewish lens and the other is each member’s various americorps placement doing social justice work. I will be working at Trilogy in Chicago. Trilogy is a behavioral healthcare organization that serves mentally ill patients within Rogers Park, Chicago and the surrounding areas. The population being served are individuals with long term mental illness who often have co-occurring substance abuse problems. What inspires me to work with Trilogy is that the goal is to empower the patients to recognize their own strength and take on their own recovery by utilizing this strength. The organization recognizes that recovery is possible with the right tools and support. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpYHiwCozb0) 

At Trilogy I will be a recovery counselor for about 18 clients. I will get to know these clients personally and will help them to get back on medication, find fulfilling employment and improve their living situations. 

I am excited about working at Trilogy and finding ways to help this population learn about themselves and recognize their own capacity for success. But, most importantly, I am excited to be doing this work through an organization like AVODAH. AVODAH is a unique organization that gathers like minded individuals together to create a community and helps these individuals pursue work that inspires them. As corps members we will all be living together, but doing different social justice and social action work. What is amazing is that we will all be doing work that helps improve the world in some way but we will all be doing work that helps us grow as well and discuss this growth as a community. 

The kind of work AVODAH does requires help and funding.  AVODAH provides 75 corps members work at 75 amazing non profits across Chicago, NYC, New Orleans, and DC to help fight mental illness, poverty, education disparities, housing issues, healthcare and much more. Before my year of service begins at the end of August, I am fundraising so that AVODAH can continue to support corps members such as myself working as low cost employees for these organizations. My personal goal is 1500 dollars. Every dollar counts and if you don’t have a lot to give you can still make a big change with a small amount. 

I recognize that you are constantly giving and supporting various causes and I was hoping that learning about AVODAH might inspire you to think about a new charity. I've set up a webpage where you can learn more and make a contribution online: https://connect.clickandpledge.com/Organization/avodah/Fundraiser/AvivaRosenberg I would be honored if you even simply took the time to read about the organizations I will be working with. It would mean a lot to me if you could give but feel free to email me or call me if you want to talk further. 

I hope that this year of service will be as interesting to all of you as my adventures in Bulgaria - and that you will keep on following and supporting me. 

Farewell Bulgaria - thank you for everything.

Goodbye Bulgaria

My last weeks and my year in Reflection

Saying goodbye to Bulgaria, the place that has been my home for a year is incredibly hard but saying goodbye to the people that have helped me grow and through their guidance have made this year of change possible was devastating.

When I was booking my flight home I worked it so that I could go to the teachers final farewell end of the year gathering. I am so thankful that I went. I was so touched by so many things throughout the weekend.

Before we got into the nitty gritty of the meetings we did some sight seeing - for me my final adventure in Bulgaria. We saw this awesome monastery built into the mountains. It was really impressive and incredibly beautiful!

The monastery 

Gorgeous view from the monastery 

I was allotted a time to give a presentation about my year. Margo translated for me and everyone seemed genuinely interested and engaged and I was so touched that they cared what I had to say. Surprisingly this is an exception - these teachers were pretty terrible listeners overall.... (:)) but I say that with love.

Also, three other people mentioned me during their presentations. One of the vice principles got choked up when she was speaking of my role and the english teachers discussed how helpful they felt I was. Dimi honored me by giving me undue credit for her acceptance into the America for Bulgaria two week training grant to the US.

The best part of the weekend was the party. We gathered at the hotel restaurant for dancing and I hardly sat from 8 until midnight. I danced the few horos I know and partied hard with all the CRAZY teachers. The other vice principle danced a slow dance with me - a bit uncomfortable but touching at the same time.

When I said goodbye to the teachers I knew would not be seeing me off for my bus to Sofia I could not find the words.

A little note to the people I love that I said goodbye to that night.

The Lovely Roni 

Dear Roni,

Thank you for your guidance throughout this year. Thank you for the respect of treating me as a peer despite our 20 year age difference. I am honored that you respected my role as a teacher and that you always seemed genuinely interested in my insight.

Roni - you managed to flawlessly play the role of friend and Bulgarian mother. You scolded me for not dressing for the weather but still gossiped with me.

With Dimi on the dance floor 

Lovely Dimi,

What an honor to meet a person like you with the ability to find the positive in everyone and every thing. You saw your role as a teacher in such a beautiful way and it was inspiring to work with you.

It was also nice to have another young teacher to work with and I really loved getting to know you.

My departure from Varna.

Sunday morning Margo came to drive me to the bus station. We picked up Kris and then met Konstantin, Vayra (his girlfriend) and two of my students, Vicky and Alex at a cafe near the station.

It was so touching to have all these people come to see me off. They stayed by the bus until I pulled away and waved for ten minutes straight. It was adorable and hilarious - as everyone else on the bus had no idea what was going on.

The always fashionable Kris 

Dear Kris,

When we said goodbye you said how it was nice having me around while your daughter has been away. What an honor to be thought of with that kind of love. You have been there for me in very motherly ways but I have also loved dancing with you and I cannot believe the kind of energy you have. I will miss you greatly!

Vyara - Konstantin - Me
July morning!! 

Konstantin,

Thank you so much for everything! Thank you for helping me with my apartment mishaps, setting up my internet and copious other adjustments I needed guidance for. But thank you the most for being one of the greatest friends I have ever had. You are a wonderful listener and it is great talking with you about anything. You have a wonderful perspective on the world and you inspire me with your desire to grow, learn and change. Not everyone is willing to change their views on things but you were always willing debate and argue with me while taking in everything I say to gain a new peerspective.

With Dobi at a Mexana 

Dobi could not come come to say goodbye but how can I not mention the wonderful and sweet Dobi.

Dear Dobi,

You were a unique friend for me. You are so thoughtful and took such good care of me. I very rarely noticed our age difference and the times I did see it - it was merely because you were in some way taking care of me. Going the extra bus stop to see me home, having me call you when I got in the house or simply translating a menu for me.  You are a special person and friend and I love you!

Myself and Margo - my mentor - my guide - and my wonderful friend

Dear dear Margo,

I could not have been more lucky to have you as my mentor teacher. Right from the start you were thoughtful and giving. I knew we would click when we were the only duo sitting outside for our meeting in Pravets. Margo, you are hilarious and can mock a person so simply without ever causing offense. You have done so much for me this year and I cannot even begin to thank you. What is most amazing about everything you have given and done for me is you have never made me feel bad for asking or done any favor begrudgingly. When ever I thank you - you look at me with eyes that say "for what" as if the long drive out of your way and the time spent figuring out an issue was no big deal. I have loved every minute we have spent together and I cannot wait to see you again - in Bulgaria or America - we shall see!

I really truly love you and I know you will be part of my life forever.

10D - a very fun and goofy class 

Some of my women's club - very special girls 

adorable 9th grade class 

10z - tough kids but such beautiful hearts! 

more cute 9th graders 

11г - I will honestly miss you guys 

a very special 10th grade class 

11в - you guys were the light of my week 

Hilarious 10th grade class 

A very special student - Vicky! 

Roni's 9th graders - love them! even though they don't always know it 

Informal farewell party by the sea with awesome students! 

Dear Students,

Thank you Vicky and Alex for seeing me off. Thank you for the flowers and the chocolate and for taking the time to come to the bus station.

Thank you students for inspiring me, challenging me and making me think in new ways. Thank you for your patience and forgiveness while I learned what the hell it means to be a teacher. It has been a colossal struggle figuring out what lessons to do, how to present ideas in the best way and understand all of you.

The best part of the year was the connections I made with students. I have felt honored to be a confidant to many of you, to be a resource about schools and future plans and to have so many of you attending extra courses to learn from me.

I have learned so much from all  of you. You have been my best resource for understanding Bulgaria and Bulgarian traditions. You have taught me that sometimes the way a high schooler thinks can be more thoughtful and caring than an adult and that change is on the surface if you just look for it.

Love you all - for real!

- Ms. R

Today I left from Sofia for my long journey home - back to America.

Bobi, who I have mentioned off hand in many places in this blog, but never really explained saw me off.



Meeting Bobi was the best part of my year and saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I have ever done.

Bobi and I fell in love - despite the odds and various obstacles that meant we could not make a long term relationship last.

He is one of the kindest people I have ever known. Bobi does not do nice things because its the right thing to do but because he only thinks of the nice thing. He has a pure heart and does not even see the other (not as nice) option.

We met today for a walk and lunch and then we had an emotional goodbye in the airport. I have refrained from talking about him on my blog to respect privacy and because of our many odds against us not wanting to answer the questions of why we could not make it last. But Bobi has been the most important person I have met this year and to not give him mention is unfair.

Today Bobi said "I am glad I met someone it is so hard to say goodbye to" - I feel the same way. Some people come into your life to teach you something and inspire you. Bobi did just that - he taught me the right way to love and brought me to understand what a truly great relationship needs.

I will forever be grateful for this love.

Goodbye my Borislav Branimirov Zaimov - I love you!

Goodbye Bulgaria,

Thank you for teaching me:
- How to stand up for myself and fight back even in a language I do not know well at all
- How to go with the flow - think in positive ways and understand that everything is for the best.
- For granting me the home base to travel from and see the world
- For showing me the beauty of the natural environment here - the sea, the mountains, the roses and much more
- For introducing me to rocking food - sach, shopska salad, banista, and more
- For helping me to learn to be on my own - to be reflective with my self and discover my own strength and abilities.

This year has honestly been the best year of my life. I have learned so much and I have had so many incredible experiences. Everything has been new and everything has been inspiring.

When I think back to myself the week before leaving for Bulgaria. I was a wreck - I got into a car accident - obviously influenced by nerves, I was sullen and stressed and I could not even begin to imagine what I was getting myself in to.

Now as I leave - all I feel is gratitude and love. I have been given so much this year and I have changed in irrevocable ways. I have become a stronger, more thoughtful and smarter person I believe. Living abroad and exploring a new culture changes you and gives you things you could not imagine. I am so sad to be leaving but so happy for all that I have gained.

I love Bulgaria and I will definitely come back here - soon!

My first picture in Bulgaria - from my hotel room in Pravets

Sunset in Pravets

The Danube 

The roses 

The seacoast in Varna - my favorite place in all of Bulgaria 

My last travels within Bulgaria

This last month and a half that I have been here I have made an effort to complete my list of places to see in Bulgaria - I did not succeed so I will have to come back :)

The places I did get to were awesome!

I went to Nesseber - an ancient coastal town. The city is stunning with many ancient monuments and churches and one of the most beautiful sea coasts.






I finally visited Ruse and Erika there. Ruse is one of the bigger cities in Bulgaria. It is a really lovely place to walk around and sit and have coffee. Erika was a great tour guide and because she is the nicest it was so fun to visit with her there. And I finally got to see the Danube on Bulgaria's side!



Katy came to visit me in Varna and we went to the Alagda Monastery. It was the second time for me - but this time I had a camera. Its really cool because its built into the side of a mountain and in the time when it was used the monks would scale these really narrow stairs they made to get up.





On our way down back to civilization Katy and I did an impromptu hike - despite not being dress appropriately at all - it was really fun.















We then had dinner in Golden Sands and I got to see the resort for the first time.

The rose festival! It was really nice to go - many other fulbrighters came and it was a good chance to say goodbye to people. I stayed at Carolyn's in Gabravo - with April, Katy, Sten and Dana. We also got to see a little of Gabravo and have wine adventures in Carolyn's home.

Finally - Carolyn came and we went to Balchik - the most beautiful place I have seen so far. The gardens are amazing and the sea coast there is small but lovely. We had such a nice day together - we did no planning just wandered to the gardens and around the gardens and then had a lovely lunch together - it was a perfect day.